Voices of Pride creates space for queer voices that refuse restriction, dilution, or apology. Through writing, art, and lived experience, LGBTIA* creators reclaim visibility, challenge inherited norms, and speak to the realities of identity, resistance, intimacy, and belonging.

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Garden of England

tears running from my chin

falling on my fingertips

as I try to catch them

glistening in the sun

cold and salty

like the sea

that we dipped our fingers in

that day

K as in Kent

L as in I love the curl in your hair

and how it sits on your soft lips

like the waves crashing into the cliffs

in the Garden of England

seems like we are the ones crashing now

are we?

If only I had known you then

it felt like a breath of fresh air, when I first saw you,

in your suit and tie,

that you later said was your granddad’s, Ojiichan,

but your Obaachan also always had sort of a cool style, you said

I hoped you and the girl in the pink kimono were girlfriends,

and found myself disappointed to find out you weren’t,

that was until you spoke to me,

you told me we met when I was 16,

you must’ve been 11 at the time

the first time I came to Japan,

I couldn’t remember,

but more importantly,

I couldn’t believe you were talking to me,

like a dream I never knew I had

suddenly becoming real in front of me

if only you had been there,

if only I had known you then,

back in my Hokusei Joshi Koukou

layers of blue and grey fabric,

broken up by a soft beam of eggshell,

and above it,

your small head,

bright, smiling cheeks,

soft-looking skin,

with sharp features,

and piercing eyes,

the streaks of your hair, stretching down your forehead,

accentuating the darkness of your pupils against your face,

and your ponytail, poking out from the back of your neck,

like the Calligraphy brush I used in my high school Shoudou class

if only you had been there,

if only I had known you then,

back in my Hokusei Joshi Koukou

we could’ve had lunch together,

we could’ve sat in the burning heat of the afternoon sun,

drinking bitter green tea on the gravel of our school yard,

and I’d walk you home to the sound of crying Cicadas,

and the shadows of the passing trees would hide my stealing glances

of your soft neck, the nervous chewing of my lower lip,

and my trembling fingers, longing to feel the brush of your ponytail,

and to follow the streams of new hair down your spine,

as if it was my life’s sole purpose

to study those lines and patterns, that adorn your body,

and to later recreate them as the most precious Edo period painting

if only you had been there,

if only I had known you then,

back in my Hokusei Joshi Koukou

but all of these are just fantasies,

that I saw in my mind last night,

as we walked you home

and you gave my hand a tight squeeze

as goodbye

and I was hoping that everyone else

could disappear, even if just for a second,

but there we were,

underneath the burgundy canopy, of

your Obaachan’s ten ten ten,

and all I could wish for was that my

hand would squeeze back tight enough

for you to know what it meant to me,

and that you would see more than just

my nervousness when you looked into my eyes,

I wish I’d remember which hand it was,

and what your skin smelled like,

but I never got to find out

and now I’m hovering above the lights,

at seven thousand metres,

above where you’re probably taking off

your shoes as you come home,

telling your mom about your day,

and as you untie your hair,

I hope you touch it gently,

like someone who knows that there is

a person out there who dreams

about doing that right now,

on their twenty-hour journey

back to another life

if only you had been there

if only I had known you then

back in my Hokusei Joshi Koukou

you were there,

I did know you then,

only you were a little girl,

and I didn’t know who I was,

too afraid of the world around me,

but no more,

no more

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About the Author

Sofie Roehrig (they/them) is a Berlin-based lesbian* multidisciplinary artist working with moving image, sound, and performance. They have worked as a writer, director, and producer on music videos, short films, and audio-visual installations. Currently, Sofie is developing feature-length film scripts as well as live performances that blend spoken word with music and soundscapes.

Find more of Sofie’s work on Instagram: @sofie.helene 

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Photography

The Voices of Pride campaign features work by Elizaveta Bogachavo, drawn from the project Ephemeral Reveries through the Alchemy of Queerness. You can read more about Elizaveta and the project here.

Instagram: @lisa.bogachova

Website: www.elizavetabogachova.me

Model: Ruby

Instagram: @ruby_inreallife